How Much Can One Suffer
by MMyo
Summary: Romano was never loved by his peers, he was hurt, pained, and changed by their words like daggers. He also had to bare responsibility of his brother, feliciano, while keeping him safe from their abusive father who snaps at one word spoken. Yet, what happens when someone breaks through that thick, lonely shell, and replaces it with love?
1. Chapter 1

_December, 12, 12:49 p.m_

_The world has finally abandoned me. It has left me to rot in a shell they call a body,_ although_ it just adds to my insecurities. It's has been scabbed, bruised, and covered with cuts by others besides me. I have been called worthless, stupid, and idiot by the ones I thought loved me, like I loved them. Yet, how am I supposed to work when I have a broken leg caused by your sober state? How do you expect me to move or even walk? You describe me as a play toy while your the dog chewing and ripping me to shreds slowly and painfully._

_This feeling of loneliness has boiled inside me, begging me to end it all. Yet I just can't bring myself to harm. I always stop when I'm about to deliver the final blow, it's like my body produces its own sense of fear! My eyes will start to water and I'll break down in cry's of silence, tears only I'll hear. Can't you see the harm you produce? Don't you see your killing me inside out? Though I know you don't see it, or care besides the point. You never cared about my expression, pale lifeless skin, or dull eyes that reeked depression._

_My brother, feliciano, treat him well for he has always been your favorite. I'm always just the willow tree blowing in the breeze, waiting for the one storm to wreck me. You've pushed, shoved, and drugged me of my life, now it's my turn. Feliciano better not have pain brought upon him! He wouldn't live through one beating, he's to frail. I know you won't be reading this cause it's hidden from your grey eyes, but when I do die this will live on with evidence of you as a murder. Rot in hell bastard!_

_Sincerely,_

_Nobody_

"Nobody, get down here and make Feliciano and his friends dinner," my fathers voice bellowed, heart skipping beats in absolute terror.

"Coming," I replied, stuttering as my own words were caught in my breath.

"Did I hear you stutter?"

My hands and feet started shaking rapidly as I dropped the pencil I was holding. It echoed throughout the room sending waves of worry to my already tense muscles. Tears threatened to fall but I hurdled my emotion up, staying strong was all I was able to do.

"No, it wasn't."

My fathers steps fainted as I quietly creaked down the stairs, sneaking into the kitchen. I found Feliciano with his friends quietly spreading unwanted rumors.

"Hey nobody," they giggled as their confident eyes starred down upon my fearful ones.

My fathers eyes glared at me from the recliner he was settled in, body ready to cause conflict at the slip of a word. I turned my head back looking towards Feliciano.

"Yep, that's right," I replied putting on the best facade I had to smile,"the nobody's here!"

The group of boys chuckled, cupping their hands on their neighbors ears to share secrets directed at me. Feliciano, held his bare expression, sadness and grief riddled in his brown eyes.

"What would you like Feliciano," I questioned, keeping one of my eyes steadied at my father.

"Pasta sounds good," he mumbled, barely audible.

My bare toes cuddled into my feet leaving red indents left on my pale skin. For it is the only way to release stress, feeling the pain it leaves behind. I walked forward, auburn locks swaying behind me.

"Oops," one of the kids sarcastically commented.

I tripped on his foot, falling onto my face with a loud thump. Plates from cabinets and shelves fell to the floor as the old house rumbled. pieces of the plates connected to my body letting a red liquid poor from the wounds.

"Romano, you okay," Feliciano spoke, jogging to my side, a painful expression plastered on his face.

A loud slap was heard followed by the skid of feet and a hoarse whimper. I turned my head dealing with the pain to see my father above me.

"Don't help the nobody," he shouted at my brother, who buried his face into his jacket crying.

He screamed at feliciano's friends to skat as they bolted out the house, screaming.

I grabbed his foot, grumbling a phrase that was barely recognizable.

"Leave him be," I grumbled, as my father looked down at me in disgust.

He ripped his foot away effortless as my lifeless hand fell to the floor. He kicked me in the face, a loud crack ringing out among the silence. I gasped for breath as his foot smashed into my face rapidly. An abundance of blood poured from my nose and open wounds as I choked on my own saliva.

I coughed up an immense amounts of blood, wondering how I was still alive and breathing. Once he had grew tired of my face he moved to my chest, ramming it directly in the lungs. My groans had become inaudible as my eyes fluttered closed, sleep becoming irresistible. two ginormous cracks could be heard as I finally fainted in a pool of my own blood, death seaming closer than before.

_December, 19, 1:00 a.m_

_I've got eight stitches lined up at my jaw that allow me to speak, but very little. They barricade my mouth from anymore comments I could make to protect my brother. My body had to have twenty nine stitches placed on it due to the shards of glass I blamed on everything that happened. My arms and legs are paralyzed, they won't even let me move a finger. _

_My eyes have permanent tears welded in them as I can't even wipe them off. The only way I'm writing this entry is through my brother who is wetting the pages with his tears as we speak._

_He has a red hand print lined on his cheek and it infuriates me that I let it happen. Feliciano try's to hide it with a scarf but he knows he can't hide it from my eyes. I will get my revenge, you can mess with me all you want, but when you mess with my brother it gets personal._

_Sincerely,_

_Romano_

"You put nobody after sincerely right," I asked, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.

"Yes Romano," he replied, closing the notebook with a loud plop.

I closed my eyes, not even the painkillers could seep away the pain of loneliness and dread deep in my heart. I let my breathing halt as I turned my head away ashamed.

"Sleep well Romano," I heard Feliciano mumble as he released my hand walking to the door.

"Wait, Feliciano!"

"What is it?"

"Be strong for me until I get better, promise."

He crossed his heart with his two fingers, nodding slowly before putting on a genuine smile.

"Promise."

I smiled to myself, Feliciano had the brightest smile that could make anyone's day. Yet it hasn't been pierced through his shell of terror since our mother died.

"Brother, I hear a new family is moving in next door," he expressed ,turning his head towards me.

I raised and eyebrow clearly interested.

"It is a lovely couple along with their 17 year old son," he continued, making sure to watch when our father was coming.

"Maybe we can make some friends before their sucked into popularity," I say trying to turn my head.

"I hear the sons quite a charm, you can try all you want," he retorted back to me.

I laughed in my head at the thought of a new family moving in. Maybe this is a second chance? Maybe this can pierce through Feliciano's shell?

"I hear he's nice, quiet, and very caring."

"Is that so?"

"Well it's rumors I heard from people across the street, so I think it's true," he stated, finally closing the door with a goodnight.

"A second chance this could be," I spoke raising my hand to the ceiling.

"A new life!"

**A/N:**

**so...I decided to make something on the darker side of stories because...I feel I need to have a variety of categories that can appeal to everyone! Should I continue? I mean, I think it's okay but I care more about you guys liking it more than I do!**


	2. Chapter 2

_December, 21, 6:00 a.m_

_My wounds have finally healed, each supporting a scab that flakes off with one flick of a finger. Feliciano has cared for me during these times, washing me, feeing me, and even their for moral support when I was in sorrow. Our neighbors still haven't arrived, yet they'll be unpacked by christmas time._

_I wonder what their like? Are they nice people? Mean? Nasty? Yet I wonder most about their son. Feliciano says he's a nice caring person but my gut tells me it's a lie. He hasn't meet him in real life so the personality is unknown. Is he short? Tall? Ugly? Handsome? These are all questions I'll have to wait and see for myself._

_Father has invited them over for a party, and I have to do all the cleaning and preparing of food. Feliciano had asked to help, but his response was a slap to the other cheek and a midnight lecture about how I was a nobody who had to fix my own problems. It infuriated me to see it happen but at the time I was paralyzed and could only bear a cold expression on my face. Let's see how this Christmas goes._

_Sincerely,_

_Nobody_

"Ain't it beautiful," my mother shouted as she opened the door to my new Victorian home.

"It is quite the charm," my father replied placing a hand on the decorated railing.

I stayed in our silver flex with my music turned all the way up to tune them out. My green eyes were pierced to the screen as I ignored my surroundings.

"Could you please go get Toni he's been in the car to long."

"Already on it."

My father walked out the door knocking on the window rolled all the way up. I ripped my earbuds out with an confused expression plastered to my face.

"Time to see the house," he shouted through the glass window.

I quickly smiled, as I stepped out the door to be met with a chill. Cold winds pierced my exposed showing skin as I brought my hands to my chest. My brown locks blew in the breeze exposing my neck to the falling snow.

"It's so chilly out," I shouted, running inside the house which fogged my glasses when my heel scraped the wooden floors.

"So that's how you get him to run," my mother giggled as she stepped inside to the warmth, boxes in hands.

My father closed the door with a loud click making me jump up in my place, startled by the unexpected sound. A chandelier made of glass hung above us as it shook on impact as the spiraling steps of the stairwell cast into view. The house was big, to much space for a family of four.

"It's never ending," I expressed keeping my head up looking at the spiraling stairs.

"It is a mansion son," my father laughed patting me on the back.

I stepped up to the second floor looking at which bedroom I wanted to have. All of them were to big, short, tall, small, smelly, clean, or dirty. That was until I found one with a view of the house next door, it attracted me in almost a sinister way.

"I'll take this one," I mumbled walking across the oak floors.

On the other side stood a man with auburn locks and golden eyes. He was currently dusting the room for a rag and spray bottle was grasped in his hand but what struck me was the purple bruises on his sides. They stuck out like a sore thumb on his pale skin as they shone dark blues, yellow, and purples. I opened my window on anticipation screeching over to the man inside the window.

"Hey, I'm your new neighbor," I bellowed as he looked my direction.

The boys shoulders tensed as he slowly turned toward the window forcing a small smile as he carefully opened the sill to greet me.

"What's you name," I questioned, placing my hands on the balcony railings.

"Romano," he replied with a chaste but smooth Italian accent.

I repeated the name to myself repeatedly each time getting more knowledge then the next.

"Such a beautiful name, mines Antonio," I replied setting a ginormous grin on my face as I looked down at Romano.

He was blushing, head down looking at his toes as if it meant his life.

"Thank you," he mumbled almost completely inaudible.

"Are you okay? You seem hurt?"

Romano looked at me before shutting the blinds covering him with a sheet of black that left me shocked, and blinded from where I stood.

"So that's how you treat your new neighbors."

I huffed in annoyance at the nerves of some people. All you want to do is make friends but they stab you in the back knocking you out of sight. I shut the balcony doors walking downstairs to the loading truck to grab my few remaining boxes. Yet the image of the bruises played in my head for the rest of the night. Was the man okay? hurt? Scared? Lonely?

"I'll have to ask him at the party," I whispered laying down upon my bed, closing my eyes falling into a soundless slumber for tomorrow was a big, bright, new day.

_December, 23, 12:00 p.m_

_The neighbors son had a glint of anger and confused glint in his eyes. He had beautifully done brown hair placed in a messy, uncombed style and his green eyes shone like the sun, does that make sense? I don't know but I hesitated when I saw him. The first thing I thought was to shun him out which I didn't when I should've. I felt absolutely terrible for blocking him out on the one question that could've saved my life._

_Yet besides that I finished the top floor of our home allowing me some room to relax in the next two today's. Hopefully father agrees to my actions_

_Sincerely,_

_Nobody_

"Romano, can I talk to you," Feliciano asked tiptoeing into the room.

I nodded my head always ready to hear my brothers stories about his day, or problems I could help him solve.

"Look," he cried placing his arms out in front of my eyes.

On his arm held burn marks, skin was pierced off and muscle close to snapping into one roll, and lots of blood was pouring to the floor. My eyes widened at the sight and I automatically grabbed a sheet and pushed it onto his gashing wound.

"Hold it here, I'll be right back," I screamed bolting down the stairs as fast as my newly healed legs could carry me.

I found my father sleeping on the recliner with his alcohol in hand which concluded an important statement to cross my head.

"Shit, we have no medical alcohol," I whispered slowly moving my feet over to him.

I reached for the bottle successfully grabbing it only to have a rough hand grab my arm when I started walking back.

"What you doing nobody," he huffed tightening his grip on my arm.

I whimpered in pain as it increased to the point his nails made my skin bleed. Yet I still bared the pain as I would not tell him why I had it. He then rapidly bent it around with a loud snap cracking the bone in its place. Tears welded at my eyes but would not budge.

"I should've gone shopping," I thought, allowing one tear to drop to the floor.

"I'll let you go, just buy me another drink and we'll call it even."

I nodded my head as he released my arm throwing me behind him allowing me to trip over a chair successfully sprain my ankle. He laughed at my pain as I limped to the kitchen grabbing the medical set.

"Don't feliciano's hands look beautiful," he chuckled, taking a swig of the wine bottle on his right.

I wanted to punch him, but held in the urge. I would have my chance but it wouldn't be now. When I got to Feliciano the sheet was stained in blood and he was breathing rapidly, he already looked paler then before. I opened the medical kit taking the needle and thread in my mouth as I began to stitch the muscle that was torn.

"How do you know what your doing," he stuttered.

"Years of training," I sarcastically commented, "on myself."

I then dumped our fathers alcohol on the wound providing a hiss from Feliciano. It wasn't the right stuff or amount to use but it would work with helping disinfect the wound. I then took the wrap and twirled it around his arm until it was nice and tight.

"Their, you should be fine for now."

Feliciano hugged me directly after I released his arm digging his face into my chest.

"I love you brother," he cried as I wrapped one of my arms on his back.

"Love you too," I replied for it was the one time I would make an excuse to say it.

I then let go tending to my wounds as Feliciano sat there helping me as I helped him.

**A/N:**

**so...I decided to post sooner than I usual ever will but I had the idea in my head at the time so I might as well just write the next chapter! Hope you enjoyed...or kind've at least. Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

_December, 25, 7:00 a.m_

_Today I used whatever savings I had left to buy Feliciano a gift. He's gone through so much agony and torture it's the least I could do to lighten his moral, maybe even make him grin. I got him a jumbo sized sketchbook along with an art kit containing pastels, paints, markers, and other utensils he could use to express himself. I've always knew he adored arts and crafts, but all he's ever owned was a notebook and pencil to express his thoughts with. I Hope he enjoys my gift for it is from the heart containing whatever love is left in me to give. The biggest gift he could return is one of his genuine smiles that could ignite a fire, or make a stormy day a luminous, sunny one._

_Our father has been gone the whole week as we have been preparing food for the neighbors when they greet us on Christmas. I heard the ideas of their son were correct; he is an oblivious meter just waiting to explode. Their go our chances of having a good friend, he would soon be sucked into popularity...just you wait._

_Sincerely,_

_Nobody_

"Romano, could you help me with the cooking please," Feliciano questioned, as I began limping down the stairs.

"Sure, a broken family has to try and mend their bones someway," I mumbled, a pit of guilt building in my stomach as I looked to see my brothers petrified face.

"Quite literally," Feliciano chuckled, placing the brass pots onto the kitchen counter.

I quickly eyed the kitchen were many spices, meats, and utensils were laid out freshly polished, tempting us to use them.

"Can you grab the cook book on the top shelf," My brother asked?

"Whatever it takes," I replied, placing the stool in front of the refrigerator as I stood on my toes to reach the handles.

I opened the cabinets, reaching my hand to the back to find the dusty old books. Yet what struck me was a surprise.

"Feliciano, theirs a present in here," I commented, leaping down from the stool rumbling the whole house.

He ran over to me giggling with excitement as I read the label.

_To: Feliciano_

_From: Mom_

Feliciano's breath halted as he read the card hidden in the bow. I tried soothing him with words of encouragement, or curses, but he broke down into a fit of cries. I wanted to stay courageous but seeing him in sorrow was to much to bare; soon I was kneeling before him like a mother to an infant.

Why don't you open it," I expressed, wiping my hidden tears along the outside of my sleeve.

He nodded his head slowly as he ripped the paper apart to reveal a dog collar.

"What is this supposed to mean," he spoke, his voice muffled.

"Maybe if we read the note," I responded, picking up the little card that had been tossed to the ground. it held great depression as I held it between my fingers.

_Dear, Feliciano_

_I always remembered you telling me you wanted a dog. So today on December 25 I bought you what you always wanted. Go to the basement and look for a box with holes poked in it!_

_Sincerely,_

_Mom_

Me and Feliciano slowly headed to the basement, turning the rusted knob slowly as we crept down its creaky steps. When we flicked the lights on, grey cement walls clouded our vision.

"Something's got me," Feliciano screamed.

I quickly bolted to his side, sweeping the swarm of flies from atop his head.

"Their only flies, calm down," I whispered as I walked around the corner of the room.

On the left corner their stood a white pole with absolute open space. I could use this for Feliciano's art gift! Father would never know! I giggled with excitement as I felt someone tugging my right arm.

"Romano I found the dog," he muttered.

I walked around the right corner to find a crinkled up box with dried blood seeping through the open holes. The lights had been bashed in as flys swarmed through the holes leaving only the tiny buzz to ring our ears. I placed my hand atop my mouth to prevent me from gagging at the horrible stench.

"Father did this," he screamed as I picked him up, placing him on my back. His legs were too wobbly out of fear the second we walked down here.

"I'll see what I can do on your birthday," I stated, as his tears slowly turned to small snuffles.

He cried into my shoulder as he dared not look back. We walked up the stairs as I placed him on a kitchen chair grabbing him a cloth to dry his tears.

"I can't stop crying," Feliciano expressed clasping his hands on his eyes.

I leaned forward pecking him quickly on the forehead. He was stunned to say the least, but understood the true meaning behind it.

"Look, we all have our times in sorrow, happiness, and in grief. Yet were brothers, we share a bond no one else could take even if they separated us miles apart. I'll cry when you cry, I'll scream when you shout, and protect you as you would for me," I whispered as I pulled away from his ear looking him in the eye.

He stared back at me, happiness quickly filling his auburn eyes.

"Come on, we have work to do!"

He smiled, quickly placing an apron atop his slender chest as he turned his attention toward the kitchen.

"Romano, you need to tenderize the meat and spice it with a pinch of each," he stated in a stern, but playful tone.

"Sir yes sir," I replied, saluting him as I ran to the island on his right, working to perfection as I leaned back to admire my work.

Feliciano stood at the stove stirring sauces for the pasta he was making. I, being able to multi task, chopped lettuce, tomatoes, and carrots for the grand bowl of salad. He also baked breadsticks our father had asked to make (more like screamed).

_December, 25, 3:00 p.m_

_We finally finished cooking everything as we set the table with out finest silver. I got the table cloth set while Feliciano lit the candles on both ends of the table. When father arrived home he was not amused by our work and gave me two slaps to the face for I asked him to leave my brother out of it._

_The neighbors will be arriving any minute and me and Feliciano are not dressed nor clean enough for the occasion. I put on a white flannel shirt with black dress pants as Feliciano put on a suit._

_Sincerely,_

_Nobody_

"Come here," I hissed at Feliciano as he walked over to me with a messy tie.

I quickly disconnected it, humming as i fixed the mistakes and made it as formal as it should've been.

"See nice and neat," I stated proud of myself.

Feliciano just blushed, embarrassed, but escaped the room none the less. I went to grab my coat when the doorbell rang.

"Get the door you lazy ass," was all I heard.

They were here, and I was about to go through hell.

**A/N:**

**this is more of a filler chapter so yeah...Hope you enjoyed anyway, and next chapter is when stuff will happen, Bye!**


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